Why Do You Want To Change – Gabriel Johnson

The answer to the question, “Why Do You Want To Change?” is a simple one. It’s because I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. My entire life, from 1st or 2nd grade, I’ve been the “loveable troublemaker”. As an adolescent a lot of my wrongdoing was chalked up to ADHD or just a kid being a kid, but the reality of it is that I didn’t fear consequences. I DID get punished, whooping, and restrictions were abundantly given, but I didn’t fear them, therefore I never learned from them. As I grew my wrongdoings progressed and became less harmless and more destructive. It was like quicksand, the more wrong I did the worse I felt and the worse I felt I did more wrong to cope. I didn’t like myself, many friends started not to like me, and my family didn’t like me – they loved me, but didn’t like who I was becoming. I ruined scholarship opportunities and relationships due to my anger and criminal behaviors. These patterns continued until 18 when I inevitably got popped hitting a lick and sentenced to prison. Prison does one of two things, it either makes you a better man or it makes you worse than before. I thank God everyday that I’m slowly but surely becoming a man worth being proud of. I’ve been saved. Every day is difficult, 19 years of worldly living left its mark on me. But my heart is focused on God so I KNOW  I’ll be able to overcome. Change isn’t over-night, much as I’d like that to be the case, but with persistence and Faith in the creator it’ll happen. I will be a man that God, my family, and myself can be proud of. I still fall short, matter of fact I smoked a rip about an hour ago after quitting for almost a year. It’s not a habit I’m going to pick back up but it was an eye opener, showing me that as a follower of Christ I must always be aware that Satan will never stop trying to get me to fail. But like the Apollo 13 slogan, “Failure Is Not An Option.”

–Gabriel Johnson

When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”  John 5:6