Ever since I was a little girl, I always felt out of place.  No one knew how I really felt but me.  I grew up with mommy and daddy.  Even though we came from a poor country that didn’t stop my mom and dad from their goals and dreams.  We had to go to church.  We had to go to Sunday school.  We couldn’t date boys.  It was school, church and home.  Sure we went on picnics with our family (2 brothers, 1 sister), went visiting other relatives homes and mom and dad had parties.  Our life seem so nice.  After living in the ghetto, mom and dad moved us to the suburban neighborhood.  The trees was green, the grass were green and it was houses, not project.  It was space not everything bunched up on top of each other.  As time went by, I started to steal to buy nice clothes, popular clothes, to fit in to the popular crowd.  More time went by and I got pregnant at the age of 14.  I had to have an abortion.  I was six months pregnant.  More and more time went by at the age of 17 I got married because once again I was pregnant with my oldest son.  Life became such a big mess.  I thought the grass was greener on the other side, but it wasn’t.  Being in an abusive, controlling relationship made my self esteem go way down low.  My husband was not a good provider at all.  He met a girl and then he had two families.  I didn’t know until there was a child involved and she was one year old.  When I was happy the other lady was sad, and when I was sad, she was happy.  After fifteen years I finally came to my senses and left him and New York.  I move to Florida at the age of 32.  Everything was new.  I couldn’t drive, I couldn’t even fill out papers like job application, etc.  I finally became independent.  I got my own apartment, got 2 jobs.  I had three children.  Life was nice so I thought.  I met a man and now I have a boyfriend.  After 2 years with him I didn’t realize he did drugs, I didn’t realize he had other women.  Things became messy.  After four years of alcohol and drugs, I went to county jail for stealing out of Walmart.  I did 5 1/2 months in the county.  When I got out I was new and improved.  I was living right.  My mom set my path with a car and a house.  All I had to do was get a job and so I did.  I then met someone while in the county jail.  His name is Randy.  Through trials, fights, good times, bad times, here we are 13 years later with a 9 year old daughter.  One day of letting the devil play with me and entertain a thought landed me in prison for four years.  Being away from all four of my children brought shame and guilt to my inside and outsides.  I believe in the lies of the enemy.  My success or failure is undeniably linked to the words I say to myself and the beliefs I hold about myself.  If you listen to yourself and really hear what you are saying about yourself, your life and your circumstances, you will be well on your way to knowing what you believe.  I became truly involved in my Bible.  I started doing a lot of Bible studies and started attending biblical class.  15 months later, I’m still walking and talking to God.  He is the truth and the only way for me.  From Genesis to Revelation, the Bible is full of cues and instructions on how we are to think.  As I go about my everyday life, I simply obey God’s word in every situation.  God never asks to us to handle more than we can bear.  This journey that I am going through, God has put a dream in my heart, I know he has, it gives me the desires to pursue my goal.  Broken focus can lead to failure.  I had my eyes on the prize and the prize is Jesus.  My family is waiting for me.  I have goals and dreams.  All I got to do is keep obeying the word of God…

–Glenda Elliott