My journey from addiction to recovery has been a long painful one. Luckily I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and would like to share my story with you.
My name is Susan Hall and I’m 25 years old. I’m currently serving a 5 year prison sentence for methamphetamine. I started using when I was 15 years old. I did it because I thought it was fun. Little did I know I was on the pathway to destruction. The fun turned into misery as the relationships in my life began to fall apart. The only way to numb the pain was to do more drugs which in turn made things worse. By this time I was so trapped in my addiction I couldn’t break free. The times I was able to get clean never lasted long. My family tried everything to help. What did I do in return? Retaliate. I believed I could do it on my own. Boy was I wrong. Arrested and awaiting trial facing 25 years wasn’t even enough to make me stay clean.
I got out and did good for a little while then went back to the same old routine. My life was completely out of control at this point and I couldn’t take it any more. I had to get away from everything so once again I cleaned up my act. At this point, it was too late I was already on my way to prison. Except now there was a new factor in the equation. I was pregnant. As I sat in the county jail awaiting sentencing I tried turning to God. Praying that he wouldn’t allow me to get sent to prison. Standing in that court room hearing the judge say 5 years broke me into a million pieces. How could God let this happen to me was all I could think. I was going to have my child in prison and miss everything in her childhood. I turned my back on God. Even though He didn’t turn His back on me. He blessed me with a wonderful family that took my daughter and made a promise to help me build a relationship with her as her mother.
As I replayed the decisions that led me to prison I made a vow to my unborn child and myself. I was going to take the 5 years and work at better my life. Within 3 months of being in prison, I received my GED. Then graduated an Architectural Drafting course that I am currently a student aide in. I took as many self betterment courses as possible such as anger management, substance abuse, life skills, parenting and 12 step. There was still something missing in my life and I couldn’t figure out what it was. I started paying attention to the people who came to speak to us. People that had been in the same shoes as me and totally transformed their lives. There was a common denominator and that was God. So I started trying to build a relationship with Him. I can promise one thing that it didn’t happen over night. At times I felt discouraged because I didn’t feel the connection but I kept pushing forward. I faithfully studied my Bible every day until one day I finally realized that He had been there the whole time.
It took me hitting rock bottom to realize that I was powerless to change by myself. Don’t lose faith though, because the good Lord is helping me pick up the mission I was broken into. He has given me an inner peace and joy I’ve never experienced before. God never wastes the hurts in our lives. Because of what I’ve gone through and the way God has worked in my life. I’m now able to give back to others. For those of you who feel lost, there is hope if you put your trust in God. Believe me, my testimony is a miracle.
–Susan Hall